Photosensitivity Warning: The film takes place primarily in a storage facility which uses sensors to turn on lights, resulting in several moments of unexpected light activation that may prove triggering for photosensitive viewers.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one: a couple of innocent civilians find themselves mired in a world-ending situation by which luck and pluck (with assistance from a well-intentioned Fed) are their only means of survival. As far as creature features go, it’s a simple plot and one that a storyteller can get a great deal of mileage out of when executed well. Thankfully, Alien Autopsy (2006) director Jonny Campbell does exactly that in the cinematic adaptation of David Koepp’s 2019 horror thriller novel, Cold Storage, featuring the talents of Joe Keery (Free Guy; Spree), Georgina Campbell (Lovely, Dark, and Deep; Barbarian), Vanessa Redgrave (Mission: Impossible; The Devils), Lesley Manville (Queer; Ordinary Love), and Liam Neeson (The Naked Gun; Ordinary Love). Offering up ghastly gore and hilarious dark comedy, Cold Storage plays out exactly like it says on the box providing the kind of easy entertainment that makes for a pleasurable midnight creature feature even in the middle of the day.
L-R: Joe Keery as Teacake and Georgina Campbell as Naomi in COLD STORAGE. Photo courtesy of Samuel Goldwyn Films.
On a nightshift like any other for security guard Teacake (Joe Keery) at a self-storage facility, a strange beeping begins that he and new-hire Naomi (Georgina Campbell) decide to investigate in order to kill time. Tracking the sound to a wall, they discover hidden equipment indicating an issue in sub-basement 4, but they only knew about the two levels used for storage. Deciding to get a look for themselves, they discover that a mysterious fungus that kills whatever it touches is spreading. With danger lurking in the depths and trouble arriving above, security guards Teacake and Naomi find themselves the least likely last line of defense for all of humanity.
L-R: Georgina Campbell as Naomi and Joe Keery as Teacake in COLD STORAGE. Photo courtesy of Samuel Goldwyn Films.
Right off the bat, if Koepp sounds familiar as a writer, even if you’ve never heard of any of his novels, you know his work. His fingers have touched Toy Soldiers (1991), Death Becomes Her (1992), Jurassic Park (1993), Carlito’s Way (1993), Mission: Impossible (1996), Spider-Man (2002), and many more. There are far more hits than misses in his filmography, with several remaining as effectual on new audiences as they were in their original release. Now, he adapts his own novel for the screen, taking what seems to be advertised as more of an intense thriller (novel) and turns it darkly comedic (film), creating a throwback creature feature experience more akin to Gremlins (1984), Return of the Killer Tomatoes! (1988), or Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988), just reveling in the opportunities the absurdity a parasitic fungal infection can create. As terribly dull as “parasitic fungal infection” may sound on paper, Campbell and his crew not only make the fungus somehow believably cognitive (within the rules of the film), but do so with a great deal of hilarity that amplifies the stakes without necessarily making the film unbearable for the horror or gore averse. It does mean quite a bit of CG that can, at times, be dodgy against the practical locations, but never so much that it cuts the stakes. This is most noticeable with the animal infected (as shown in the marketing) and less so with the human infected, which are done up in varying shades of fungus, slime, and decomposition. In short, you come to Cold Storage for a good time, and you’re gonna get a gooey time, too.
For their part, the cast knows exactly what kind of film this is and appears to be having a ball. Keery and Campbell have impeccable chemistry — he imbuing Teacake with an affability as the low self-confidence ex-con trying to both keep his job and impress the new hire, she making the single mom far more three-dimensional with a vocal delivery that conveys Naomi’s inherent intelligence and capability outside of the dialogue. When the two share scenes together, the fun of the film shoots straight up in the way that they make these wrong-place-wrong-time characters naturally evolve into the heroes humanity needs. Likewise, Neeson and Manville not only get the chance to re-unite as scene partners, they get to do so while being badasses as their respective characters first engage with the fungus nearly two decades before the start of the film proper and then again when it “wakes.” They, as actors, bring a certain credibility that the two younger leads are still cultivating (though Campbell and Keery both have strong notches in their favor within horror (outside of Stranger Things)) and their respective performances make use of it. Neeson, especially, who has been milking the energy of Taken (2008) for some time in other projects, an aspect which may cause younger audiences to forget that the actor goes back decades in genre fare (such as the amazing Darkman (1990)), gets to marry that “certain set of skills” with his comedic chops to make his Retired Colonel Robert Quinn someone who should be respected, even when battling with humanity’s greatest foe: natural aging. Impressively, none of the jokes in the film stoop to playing on obvious aspects or low-hanging fruit, such as Quinn’s age or Twocake’s past. Instead, it finds hilarity in vocal delivery, physical performance, or, given the genre, the situational components.
L-R: Joe Keery as Teacake, Liam Neeson as Retired Colonel Robert Quinn, and Georgina Campbell as Naomi in COLD STORAGE. Photo courtesy of Samuel Goldwyn Films.
The more I sit with Cold Storage, the more I enjoy it. At just over 90-minutes with credits, the film gets us in and gets us out without wasting a moment. There are certainly aspects which may pester if given too much thought (such as a few rules with the fungus that get bent to protect some characters versus others), but the way by which the fungus is introduced and established as not to be underestimated, the way the film incorporates the failure of bureaucracy and hubris of humanity as the true killer, and the way the act of discovery occurs, all while constantly keeping the audience engaged and moving, feels like its own little miracle. And this is largely because the film never forgets that it’s a creature feature. It may contain a little commentary here and there and a few easter eggs for attentive viewers, but it’s ultimately about what’s going to infect audiences and get them to squirm with delight. This is one creature feature you’ll want to go into cold, so you can come out hot.
In theaters February 13th, 2026.
For more information, head to the official Samuel Goldwyn Films Cold Storage webpage.
Final Score: 3.5 out of 5.
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Categories: In Theaters, Reviews
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