Old Guy, directed by Simon West (Lara Croft: Tomb Raider; Con Air; Expendables 2) and written by Greg Johnson (The Last Son), at least piqued my interest as an entertaining, silly, action movie with a cast that includes Lucy Liu (Kill Bill Vol. 1), Cooper Hoffman (Saturday Night), or Christoph Waltz (Inglourious Basterds), three actors who are often the highlights of, or at least standouts in, their projects, many of which I am a fan of. However, what was delivered certainly makes me wish I was a target more than a hired gun because the lows outweighed the highs tenfold, and even the veteran performers and fresher meat couldn’t whip these bullets into brain matter.
Christoph Waltz as Danny Dolinski in the Action/Comedy film OLD GUY, a The Avenue release. Photo courtesy of The Avenue.
The movie focuses on sidelined hitman Danny Dolinski (Christoph Waltz) who’s been sidelined because of his declining health. After destroying all tissue in his hand and ending up with arthritis, Danny’s hand is surgically fixed, but he still has to take it easy and shouldn’t be doing anything too strenuous, like shooting a gun. He’s unofficially but essentially retired until The Company, run by Opal (Ann Akinjirin), brings him back in to teach hipster millennial prodigy Wihlborg (Cooper Hoffman). Danny thinks Wihlborg is a joke, makes fun of his painted nails and his hippie-esque hipster necklace, and wants rather nothing to do with him, going as far as instructing him to stay in the car while on a job he is supposed to be showing Wihlborg the ropes so he can learn from one of the best. And this is where things go wrong. The job goes bad, Danny can’t get it done, and Wihlborg has to step in. There are more casualties than anticipated and this ruffles the feathers of The Company. Now, Danny and Wihlborg have a target on their backs. Can the old vet and new blood escape the crosshairs or will everyone, including Danny’s love interest Anata (Lucy Liu), become more casualties of a botched job.
L-R: Lucy Liu as Anata and Christoph Waltz as Danny Dolinski in the Action/Comedy film OLD GUY, a The Avenue release. Photo courtesy of The Avenue.
Old Guy boasts a strong leading and supporting cast, yet none of them seem to be fully involved or interested in giving a performance that invokes any form of memorability or engagement for the audience. Waltz, who has the chance to be incredibly funny and over the top with a hitman who’s been sidelined by something as objectively funny in the situation as arthritis just downplays the humor and doesn’t even pack resentment, instead opting for more of an indfference. Danny’s reluctancy to train the newbie is understandable, but, other than the fact that he doesn’t want to be replaced, he doesn’t seem to entirely object. The interest with Lucy Lui’s Anata also feels like it is there simply to have another name involved in the cast as their relationship is never fleshed out and she truly isn’t ever given anything to do that utilizes her abilities. Cooper Hoffman playing Gen Z is the most annoying yet indifferent aspect of the entire movie. We don’t know why he’s an assassin. There’s no reason for it. There’s no reason why he has to be taught by Danny. He’s just present and there is no rhyme or reason as to why. The cast is undeniably underutilized which makes it harder to bring Greg Johnson’s script to life, but at least West’s direction captures some entertaining sequences, even if they are few and far between.
Cooper Hoffman as Wihlborg in the Action/Comedy film OLD GUY, a The Avenue release. Photo courtesy of The Avenue.
Old Guy would make one think that this is meant for those who are craving direct-to-video ‘80s action movies, yet nothing else about this movie invokes that. The plot is certainly one that is positioned to be exactly that (A-lister teaming up with a relative newcomer with silly over-the-top action); we’ve seen it plenty of times, even in the last decade, but, alas, this misses the mark. Maybe the movie is being tongue-in-cheek; maybe Danny is taking shot at and is constantly missing, not even grazing, the audience due to his arthritic hand; but, if that’s not the case, then someone needs to go back to the shooting range.
In theaters and on digital February 21st, 2025.
For more information, head to the official The Avenue Old Guy webpage.
Final Score: 3 out of 5.
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Categories: In Theaters, Reviews, streaming
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